Self-esteem and self-worth is something that we tend to forget has been accumulating over the course of our lifetime. No one is born with self-worth; we are born completely neutral and innocent of all positive and negative thoughts about ourselves and that of others. The first people we model ourselves after are our parents and siblings and so how they interact with us, is a clear indicator of how we are going to develop our personalities and thought processes.
As we go through school, relationships with our peers are formed and we pick up a few more traits that determine the types of adults we are going to be. These relationships often fizzle out as we enter adulthood but new ones are formed and as with anything, these changes allow us to grow, adapt and understand our self-worth.
This is not to say that once we are adults, we are stuck with how we see ourselves. We are still able to be guided and moulded into who we want to be, especially when we are open to arming ourselves with confidence and a drive for success not only in our personal life, but our business one too.
If we allow negative thoughts to creep in and tell us that we perform poorly or stop us from taking steps forward, we find that little or no progress is made and we remain stagnant in the area’s we want to succeed in.
In order to overcome these powerful thoughts, we need to review what we have done up to this point and see if we can pin point where we have gone wrong either through choices we have made or if external forces are at play.
Using the following strategies, you can talk yourself out of negative thinking and into a healthier mindset that sees you achieving goals, building better relationships and living with overall happiness.
- Be aware of your strengths – List all of the things that you are good at or have achieved. These can be things like how you help others in times of need, successfully raised a family or won a significant award. Using this list, determine how you can utilise them in achieving other forms of accomplishment. Ask your employers, colleagues and friends for what they see as your strengths, you will be surprised at how they see you!
- Model yourself on those you look up to – When you surround yourself with people you want to be like, you are able to see how they act, feel how they feel and think as they think. When you associate with negative thinkers or people who make you feel less than you should, you subconsciously allow yourself to be manipulated into thinking the same way. Spend your time with others who want to help you on your journey to becoming all that you can be. Remember though, you shouldn’t strive to be someone else or compare your worth to someone else’s, just be the better version of yourself.
- Be clear in your goals – Think about who you want to be instead of who you are now. Do you want to be someone who is confident, has a strong network of friends and/or colleagues or do you just want to find yourself a loving partner and create a healthy family environment? List ways that you can achieve these goals, with many mini-goals in between. Create yourself a timeline of when you would like to achieve them by and stick to it.
- Speak to yourself the way you want to be spoken to by others – Stop the inner critic from telling you that you are not worthy of taking a leadership role, making decisions on behalf of others, meeting milestones and generally succeeding at life. Always find the upside in difficult situations; sure, you made a mistake but what can you learn from it? Optimism is the key to leading a more positive life.
- Don’t quit before you start – One of the biggest causes of failure, is not following through on ideas or actionable tasks. Have you heard of the saying – Fake it until you make it? This applies here. Have enough belief in yourself to get things moving and the rest will follow.
- Understand that there is no difference between them and you. – No-one is perfect. We all have faults, flaws and weaknesses and life would be very dull if we were carbon copies of each other. Understand that your peers also struggle and could utilise your strengths to help them through difficult periods and vice versa.
- Measure your worth – Where were you 6, 12, 24 months ago? Were you still in the same position or have you made mistakes, learned lessons and adjusted your plan? Where would your friends, family and colleagues be without your presence? Knowing the part you have played or could play in the grand scheme of things should help you realise your potential and value. Your worth is not measured by how much money you make or how many awards you win, it is measured by the impact you have on the environment around you.
If you are in the habit of not valuing the role you play in your life, then now is the time to begin making changes and breaking the cycle of negative thinking.
I go through Self Worth Strategies in my flagship course “The Business Boost” to help you with this part of growing your business. There are limited spaces. To enrol and find out more about the course, click here to start or copy and paste this url into your browser. http://thesuccessfultradie.co.nz/business-boost